Can you tell if someone has had sex?

January 21, 2017

Can you tell if someone has had sex?

Wouldn’t it be convenient if you could tell someone’s sexual history and degree of risk just by looking at him or her? But there is no sure way of knowing if someone has had sex before.



People used to think that all women bled the first time they had vaginal intercourse. So the belief was that you could know you were having sex with a virgin if she bled. Though some people still believe this, it is not true for all women. Some women do not bleed from their hymen the first time they have sexual intercourse. If a woman does bleed, sometimes it is only a few drops of blood that can be overlooked. We also know there are other ways of being sexually active aside from sexual intercourse between a man and a woman.


So there is no sure way of knowing if a woman has been sexually active. And there is no way of knowing if a man has had sex. We only have the person’s word.


This is why it is so important that you talk to your partner and ask questions about sexual history. It’s also important that you are honest with your partner about your own sexual history.


Finally, before beginning a sexual relationship, it is important that both of you are screened for STIs or STDs (sexually transmitted infections or diseases) and that you are honest with your health care provider about your sexual history so that you can learn how to lower your risk for STIs or STDs.


If you are sexually active or are considering becoming sexually active, we want you to have all the information you need. All of our services are confidential and provided at no cost to you. Call us or leave a message in the comments below.

Eva Fisher

Nursing Director (BSN, RN, FCP)



The content on this page has been reviewed and approved by our Nursing Director.

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